Thursday, June 17, 2010


I am not sure how many of you read the comments. You should.

My readers are amazing articulate, passionate, compassionate, and wise.

Many of my posts are based directly on your comments and emails.

This recently posted comment with its evocations and worried whispers deserved to be shared in a more accessible manner.

It leaves me wanting more - more contact, more information, and mostly more good news.

Please remember that unless include contact info or you email at I have no way to get back to you.

Feeling raw already and this article was just what I needed to be fully cooked. "Dad's numbers have gone down" this is what I hear from my Mom lips in slow motion the minute Dad walks out of the room. No more appetite for me, lump in throat, twisted gut..i am done, want to run from the sadness that has been hiding like a grim Lord or the Rings character.
I have had a year off from the worry. He has been in remission for a year. I have been as creative as a 6 year old but with 40 years of know how.
Numbers down is not awful news but it's the fear in her eyes that drowns me. I can handle my Fathers death, I can survive the misery of people bugging me, trying to ram rod me with Christian love.
Can I remain a float in my always cheery Mom's tsunami?
Today I think maybe, but it's going to take a huge pre-social purge on my part.
A 46 year marriage , the only man she ever kissed. I am just not sure how she will survive more health's changing her.
Tuesday it's marrow tapping time so I will have to wait, she will have to wait.
I will have to go on like it's all OK until it's not... on the outside.
good thing I have a puppy and a new bike.
Love X1000



Blogger Judy Cleri said...

Dear Dr. K,

I am probably one of the few that actually do go back and read comments. I read them in hopes of gleaming some words of wisdom that I may be able to use to help someone else who is going through a horrible time in their life.

You are lucky to have so many wonderful friends who are there to help cheer you on through thick and thin. So, from one of your readers, please thank all of the other poster. I have learned so much through your posts as well as theirs.

Maybe I will be more compasionate it my dealings with those who are so ill or have another life altering situation.

Keep your faith was so wonderful to get good news....337,000 and climbing. woo hoo....

Blesings on this beautiful So. CA day.


June 18, 2010 at 10:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love that comment...At least I have a puppy and a new bike. How beautifully simple. Tracey Carson

June 21, 2010 at 10:38 PM  
Blogger pigbear said...

It's me with the Father who has AML, the puppy and the new bike.

I met you for the second time in Claremont...I am Eliott's Fairy God Mother.

I have been thinking of you and wanted to give you happy news...

The entire family had the most glorious weekend at the sea side. My Dad got to hold his first born Girl Grandchild.

no marrow tap..he had a cold.

We all get to live a few more days with our heads cozy in sun warmed sand.
It's OK, it reminds me that there are more stars in the heavens than there are grains of sand on this big blue marble.

I am sending you all the happy emotions, thoughts, feelings and expressions today.
You are not my Father but you are someones Daddy and I am here & so are you.

tell us all how the hang gliding feels.
thanks for sharing your feelings here.

Fairy Godmother

June 29, 2010 at 1:54 PM  

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