Hole in My Heart

Space Shuttle Endeavor on it's Last Flight over Lake Merritt, Oakland

Yesterday I lost a dear young friend. I saw her the day before she died. After my wife, she was probably the most important woman in my life for the last few decades before my transplant shrunk my work world. 

A wise, rock steady healer. A constant friend.

Her disease was not CLL, but another chronic illness that waxed and waned. It gathered steam over the last few weeks, reached a crescendo in the last few days, and in the end, it proved too much for her. 

I am so sad for her children, her family and friends and the thousands of those whose lives she touched and helped through her smart and gentle work.

Life can be so cruel and so unfair.

Today I saw the NASA shuttle, Endeavor, do a low slow fly-by in Oakland on it's farewell trip through space. Like Endeavor, I will never see her fly again.

There's a gaping hole in my heart.

I will be OK. I have lived with tragedy and death before, but there are some hurts that never heal.