More on Happiness

My long time friend from school days back in Montreal, Paul W, sent me this in response to my last post:

And this, from Solzhenitsyn :

“Do not pursue what is illusory – property and position; all that is gained at the expense of your nerves decade after decade, and is confiscated in one fell night. Live with a steady superiority over life – don’t be afraid of misfortune, and do not yearn after happiness; it is, after all, all the same: the bitter doesn’t last forever, and the sweet never fills the cup to overflowing.

“It is enough if you don’t freeze in the cold and if thirst and hunger don’t claw at your insides. If your back isn’t broken, if your feet can walk, if both arms can bend, if both eyes can see, and if both ears can hear, then who should you envy? And why? Our envy of others devours us most of all. Rub your eyes and purify your heart – and prize above all else in the world those who love you and who wish you well. Do not hurt them or scold them, and never part from any of them in anger; after all, you simply do not know; it might be your last act and that will be how you are imprinted in their memory.”

The Talmud asks:

Who is a rich man?

And answers:

One who is happy with his lot.

Those ancient rabbis were very Zen.

It is a guaranteed path to misery to compare yourself to those who appear to be more fortunate and happy. Rabbi Telushkin's mother said: "The only people that I know that are really happy are people that I don't know well."

The Russian author quoted here also reminds us in his closing lines that love is all you need and life is not predictable or controllable.

Please share your thoughts on happiness.

Later this week, my CT scan. To say I wasn't apprehensive would be mendacious. To let its approach shatter my joy, would be wanton. Why borrow trouble?

"Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." Abe Lincoln

Rabbi Telushkin talked today on practical ways to be happy.

Cultivate gratitude. Count your blessings.

Forgive. Holding a grudge is like letting someone you hate take up residence in your brain rent free. Let it go.

And remember to forgive yourself.

Stay connected. It is not good to be alone.

Go on a 24 or 48 hour complaint fast. Nothing but kind words for a day or two. See if it detoxifies you,

Charitable acts are our only assets that can never be taken from you, so let them grow. Jesus was right when he preached that is really better to give than to receive.

I want to add from some others that have informed my life.

Reb Nachman taught:

"Remember things can go from the very worst to the very best in just a blink of an eye"

Viktor Frankl reminded us:

“Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances; to choose one’s own way.”

And

"When we are no longer able to change a situation - we are challenged to change ourselves.”

Honest Abe nailed it:

"Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

I say in my own less pithy and less folksy way:

Linger over the smallest of pleasures because they are so common and much easier to find the ecstatic peaks.

Focus on the sweet spots and move past the pain as quick as you can.

Seek acts of joy over pleasant diversions, though it is quite OK to be superficial some of the time.

Play music, look at art, dance, plant a garden.

If you must, fake it until you make it.It helps you make it.

It is not always easy to be happy but it always worth the effort.