The Death of Robin Williams: A Failure of Imagination and what it means to those of us with CLL (chronic lymphocytic leukemia) and other Cancers

The death of Robin Williams casts a long pall over millions of us, myself included.

How does the amazing and uplifting humor such as produced by Robin Williams' frenetic imagination and heroic real time risk taking come from one who told himself that he had run out of options? He died because he couldn't imagine a way out of his pain: a guy who made his living with his quick and witty ability to see and go where others couldn't.

Laughter has the ability to both heal and wound, to teach and deride. Mr. William's energy always seemed positive and honest. Despite that honesty, I never heard the pain in his material. Could he so compartmentalize his life? What was hidden and what was revealed? Was that dividing line getting dangerously porous? Was his light coming from a dark place? Did something snap? Did he give so much that he believed that there was nothing left for himself?  Was there a tipping point in his brain chemistry? I have seen depressions so deep, chemical balances so disturbed, that life and death get mixed up in the patients' head. Beside cancer and heart disease, psychiatric illness is a not so hidden killer.

It is the unexpected, the unimagined that rocks our world. How could he be so depressed, and so funny and by all accounts so kind at the same time?

It makes no sense. And it's so sad. I am left holding straws. What I thought was solid ground was either smoke and mirror or quicksand.

The drunk and/or broken artist is a worn out archetype, but is it?

Robin Williams' death has given me and millions of others a chance to stop and figure it all out, again. What does it all mean? What really counts?

We who live with cancer on the inside know too well how surface appearances can be deceiving. We keep going by imagining a different future. The cancer doesn't have to be our only driver. Our will and imagination can move us forward. We must keep those going and when we can't do it on our own, we must ask for help. Or better yet, help someone else. Or at least go for a long walk in the woods or on the beach and put off any irreversible decisions for another day when we are on more solid ground and can see and imagine more clearly. Just as we must be proactive in how we prevent and manage the visible complications of our leukemia such as infections or secondary cancers, we must be prepared to deal with that equally deadly if less obvious killer, depression.

So stay strong. And always remember that we are in this together.

Fitness and Cancer: A Guest Posting

Please take a look at this guest blog by David Haas who can also be found at :http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog/

In the way of self introduction he says:

“I am a cancer patient advocate who writes and researches for the betterment of others.”

His topic for today's posting is fitness and cancer.

I know first hand that my transplant doctor, Dr. Forman, insists that all his patients walk on the transplant floor. That meant for me donning a mask and gloves, and waltzing through the nursing corridors with my heavy laden IV pole attached to my left arm through my PICC line even when I felt like crap.

The nurses, who should know, say that those who walk, walk out.

I know there are many benefits to exercise starting with this chestnut courtesy of Dr. Himle:

"Depression has a lot of trouble finding a moving target, 
it's outstanding at hitting a stationary one."

Take a look at this link http://www.lymphomation.org/CAM-diet.htm#exercise for more on the exercise and cancer topic. I am a believer.

Please let me know how you feel about this idea of guess blogs.

Here's David's writing.

Fitness and Cancer

It stands to reason that someone who has been recently diagnosed any kind of cancer including common cancers such as breast cancer and skin cancer and even rare cancers like mesothelioma wouldn't want to spend a lot of time exercising. The shock of having been diagnosed with an often fatal disease combined with the sickness, pain and fatigue associated with said disease can all but destroy any motivation that one would have for remaining or becoming physically fit. Physical fitness is important for everybody, even those who are suffering from cancer. Recent studies have found that while a regular exercise regimen is by no means a miracle mesothelioma treatment or a cure for any other kind of cancer, it has helped aid the recovery and improved the prognosis of many cancer patients.

Two of the most common and debilitating side effects of most traditional cancer treatments are fatigue and loss of muscle strength. Cancer treatments such as chemotherapy tend to make patients feel very fatigued, so naturally they do not want to spend a lot of time doing much of anything, let alone engage in any kind of exercise. The muscle weakness commonly experienced by cancer patients naturally results from this fatigue. As they are deprived of exercise, these patients also miss out on some of the benefits that come from being physically fit including improved sleep patterns, increased energy, decreased depression and a generally improved sense of wellbeing. In other words, exercise can help a cancer patient or cancer survivor get his or her life back.

One form of exercise that many experts suggest for cancer patients is lightweight training. It's already been established that many cancer treatments cause a weakness in the muscles, so a weight-training program has proven to be very beneficial for many patients undergoing chemotherapy or similar treatments. It is not recommended that anyone who is experiencing fatigue or muscle weakness attempt any rigorous weight training exercises, but there are plenty of light exercises that can be done that will still help to build lean muscle mass and improve the overall fitness of cancer survivors.

The American Cancer Society has become so convinced by the benefits of exercise for cancer patients that they have implemented moderate exercise programs for patients who have been newly diagnosed with cancer. These exercise programs can technically be considered palliative therapy, which means that while they will not cure or treat the cancer directly they will at least improve the symptoms of the disease or treatment.