We are all Fragile
Just some of it know it far better than others.
We know it when we look in the mirror.
We know it when we slide a soapy hand over a lump that shouldn't be part of who we are.
We know it when we rifle through our archives of pathology reports and when we hesitate to open letters from our hospitals and insurance companies.
We see it in the eyes of others looking back at us
Some of it know it far better than others.
But some of us need a louder signal.
Some of us need to be yanked to attention by an unexpected lab finding or an illness that in our previous reality would have only been....
A minor annoyance.
An inconvenience to be ignored and pushed through.
And now, and now, and now ....... it casts long shadows that reach into places that only the darkness can see.
We all fragile.
Just some of it handle it far better than others.
We accept the wounds.
We are all mortal in the end. And in the beginning and middle too.
Some of it handle it far better than others.
Not me. I protest against the constraints or more likely try to blow past them at my own peril.
But we are all fragile.
Even those us who don't know it and those who don't want to admit it.
Even those of us who are not incurable today.
Even those of us who harbor no diagnosis today.
So it falls on us that we are challenged to work out a deal with our demons to temper our risk.
Because we all really know that we are fragile,
We are reminded must not waste a fleeting moment
Which is so hard when we are all so damned fragile.
On a personal note, I am sicker today, with a painful deep throated cough and a powerful sore throat. Started on Levaquin 500 last night. I will recover.
I am not that fragile.
Labels: Chronic lymphocytic leukemia, CLL, Fragile, Mortality
6 Comments:
Feel better. Soup always works miracles for me.
You are a poet Brian - hope the drugs are kicking in. Best wishes, Deborah in Melbourne
Brian you are my unfortunate hero in my fight. Please feel well. We need you.
I will share your words of fragility with my young friend who has her own demon. Pancreatic cancer.
Feel better Brian!
Wanda
Brian - it is not so bad! You were doing great for a long time, learning, teaching traveling and cheering us every time when we needed. Right now you just contracted cold and need to recover from that. Get better very soon. I will pray for your speedy recovery - Monika
Beautifully put from one who has been working tirelessly without much thought to his own risk !! Please, Brian .. consider that fragility, that risk and take good care of yourself. Of course, selfishly, I rely on your videos and wise commentary but more I rely on your remaining healthy !!
Lynn S
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