Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Crash Landing

My high flying days are behind me.

Today's lab report hit me like a midair collision.

My platelets have taken a nosedive to 38,000- About a drop of 200,000 in 13 days.

That is getting dangerously close to dangerous levels. Normal is >150,000. Dr. Kipps asked me three time if I had any nosebleeds or bruises.

Maybe it was a bad batch of IVIG. Dr Kipps thinks that's a possibility. I think it is his kind way to give me something to hope for.

Looks like I will be hitting the 'roids again soon. Looks like a shaved head and a N95 mask are coming soon to a blog near you.

Looks like a second transplant.

My platelets may have been decimated, but hey I am still going. Only slight growth of the palpable nodes. The rest of the blood count is good. Enough red cells and not too many white ones. The CLL isn't mounting a frontal assault, it has just turned my body against itself. It is trying to kill me with my own immune system.

Emergency IVIG tomorrow. Had to cancel a full load of patients at the last moment.

Recheck lab on Friday- then make my plans.

This stinks, but I am alive and motivated.

And I am so glad that I paused to soak in the wonder of the last week. I will never lose the imprint of that magic. That is a feeling, a joy, that will abide.



Anonymous Marilyn said...

You know, Brian....there aren't a whole lot of comments here, but I have a feeling a whole lot of people are keeping up with your tale, as it unfolds and as you tell it....and we are all caring about it. Caring beyond words. You're a great writer and generous with your experiences. I think that generosity helps an awful lot of others.

Blog on (not that you would stop)! But even when you aren't sure anyone's listening, blog on, because... believe me, people ARE.

November 18, 2009 at 6:44 AM  
Blogger pkenn said...

My last comment isn't here, so I assume you are busy with things other than dealing with them. Thinking about you (as I know many are) as you get your drip today. It's worked in the past for you - praying that you get the same result today!

November 18, 2009 at 11:44 AM  
Anonymous Penny said...

Brian. . . Marilyn's words perfectly express my sentiments. Your post was written. . . in spite of your latest news. . . You keep reaching out rather than turning inward. I believe that helps many others, as well as yourself. Thinking so much about you and sending you whatever vibes I can to see you through this. You are so in my thoughts and in Brooke's also.

November 18, 2009 at 4:37 PM  
Blogger Brenda Corderman, MA, LMFT, Brea, CA said...

We're pulling for you, Dr. Koffman! You've provided a great deal of inspiration and hope as you've shared the joys and challenges of your journey. Bless you.

- Brenda & Uri

November 18, 2009 at 6:00 PM  

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