Sunday, October 26, 2008

"I want to tell you, I feel hung up but I don't know why," The Beatles

Sometimes I wish I knew you well,
Then I could speak my mind and tell you
Maybe you'd understand

The Beatles

It's still hurts to swallow. My voice is still hoarse. I've been much too tired to write or think coherently, so this will be relatively short. With my immunosuppressive medications (tacrolimus and sirolimus) dampening my defences already weakened by CLL and the medications used to treat it, I am slow to recoup. Zithromax, voice rest and gargles have calmed it down, but it still hanging tough.

So I dropped off the grid for a few days. My wife and I carefully avoided the Internet. Instead we got starry eyed in Death Valley under a night sky from our childhood while we ate deep fried prickly pear. It was surprisingly tart and tasty. The desert dessert was a shooting star.

As the picture attests, we also did a bit of rock scrambling in the Red Rocks outside of sin city, Las Vegas. The observant will notice the dressing on my left arm to protect my central line.

Our finale was to have our minds blown by the Beatles inspired show, "Love" in Las Vegas. One of my former patients is the make-up supervisor for Cirque du Soleil who got us the tickets. Thank you, thank you, Kathleen. What nostalgic light hearted fun. The production focused mostly on the Beatles' transcendent or some might say drug induced music which was perfect for Cirque's ethereal reach into colors and shadows.

A splendid time was had by all.

Very healing.

A more disciplined mind might be able to connect with all that is now and healing in the hubbub of home life, but I find I still need to occasionally escape to the austerity of the desert or the joy of a Beatles' tune. They calm my roof brain chatter and my distress. I am lucky indeed that both are so readily accessible. The goal, of course, is to bring that peace inside, so that it is there always, even when I am stuck in traffic on the 405 on the way to the clinic or struggling with news I might not want to hear. Not that I am anticipating anything untoward.

Tomorrow I see Dr. Forman after an absence of two weeks. I hope to post soon on the critical issue for that visit, the frequency of monitoring the disease and engraftment. 


Blogger Nick Sowers said...

awesome photo! glad you guys had a great time, wynning all that money!

October 27, 2008 at 12:06 AM  
Blogger Judy Cleri said...

Hi Dr. K,

So glad you were able to get away and enjoy the beautiful California scenery.......ok, the Vegas scenery too. And the Beatles.... What more could a person ask for.......well, maybe a King win? In case you missed it, my DUCKS won their last 3 games....I know don't have a heart attack. I already took care of that for you. Hopefully both of our teams will play at their full potential tonight.

Feel better soon. Missed the updates.



October 27, 2008 at 9:42 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Great, you are doing some traveling and that is good for the healing process. Hange in there my friend.

October 27, 2008 at 11:55 AM  
Blogger NB said...

Hi Brian,
One of your patients informed me of your illness and long recovery. We have lost touch over the years but I was stunned to get this news. Ken and I wish you the very best and we hope to see you and Patty some day soon. (We saw Patty and Will briefly a few months ago - after several years - but nothing was said about your condition.)
Lots of love and good wishes for a complete recovery.
For old times sake...

October 28, 2008 at 1:48 PM  
Blogger Ronni Gordon said...

It's great that you can easily get to such beautiful places to calm the chatter. Every little bit helps so that when you are stuck in traffic, or nervous at the doctors', you can draw on whatever it is that calms you down. Ah, the chatter...I know about it all too well!

October 28, 2008 at 6:34 PM  
Blogger goodydogs said...

Brian and family-
I've started a blog, much less sensational than yours, but none the less, my blog.

Wanted to share with you as you have become such a part of my life,

October 29, 2008 at 11:51 AM  
Blogger goodydogs said...

so incrediby sorry


October 29, 2008 at 11:53 AM  

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