"I want to tell you, I feel hung up but I don't know why," The Beatles

Sometimes I wish I knew you well,

Then I could speak my mind and tell you

Maybe you'd understand

The Beatles

It's still hurts to swallow. My voice is still hoarse. I've been much too tired to write or think coherently, so this will be relatively short. With my immunosuppressive medications (tacrolimus and sirolimus) dampening my defences already weakened by CLL and the medications used to treat it, I am slow to recoup. Zithromax, voice rest and gargles have calmed it down, but it still hanging tough.

So I dropped off the grid for a few days. My wife and I carefully avoided the Internet. Instead we got starry eyed in Death Valley under a night sky from our childhood while we ate deep fried prickly pear. It was surprisingly tart and tasty. The desert dessert was a shooting star.

As the picture attests, we also did a bit of rock scrambling in the Red Rocks outside of sin city, Las Vegas. The observant will notice the dressing on my left arm to protect my central line.

Our finale was to have our minds blown by the Beatles inspired show, "Love" in Las Vegas. One of my former patients is the make-up supervisor for Cirque du Soleil who got us the tickets. Thank you, thank you, Kathleen. What nostalgic light hearted fun. The production focused mostly on the Beatles' transcendent or some might say drug induced music which was perfect for Cirque's ethereal reach into colors and shadows.

A splendid time was had by all.

Very healing.

A more disciplined mind might be able to connect with all that is now and healing in the hubbub of home life, but I find I still need to occasionally escape to the austerity of the desert or the joy of a Beatles' tune. They calm my roof brain chatter and my distress. I am lucky indeed that both are so readily accessible. The goal, of course, is to bring that peace inside, so that it is there always, even when I am stuck in traffic on the 405 on the way to the clinic or struggling with news I might not want to hear. Not that I am anticipating anything untoward.

Tomorrow I see Dr. Forman after an absence of two weeks. I hope to post soon on the critical issue for that visit, the frequency of monitoring the disease and engraftment.