Friday, May 15, 2009

Settling In with Hope

Not much happening with my CLL these days. Not quite : All quiet in the Cancer front, but close. No thrice weekly doctors' visits with exciting lab results. So I review the old news, careful not to ruminate too much.

I got an email this week from a dear friend, a radiologist in Paris in response to some final questions on my CT scans.

What I got was a clear confirmation that my mesenteric lymph nodes grew between Sept. and Feb. at a significant clip.

I am living with that.

I am hoping that my raw organic vegan diet and lifestyle will help reverse that.

I am hoping my next treatment will be equally effective in preparing me for a second transplant.

I am hoping I will be well enough to do a second transplant.

I am hoping my donor will still be willing and available.

I am hoping that my insurance or whatever rushed through Federal insurance reforms doesn't ration expensive care like a transplant. I really worry about this one. It is with great sadness that I must say that it would be no exaggeration that I would probably be DEAD if I live in Canada. The medication that saved my life is not covered by most government insurance.

I am hoping next time I get ATG or whatever it takes not so I don't reject the graft a second time. This one still burns me, but I must look forward, not back.

I am hoping it works without too much GVHD.

What I am really hoping for is that I never need to do any of this.

What I am really really hoping for is that we find a cure. And very soon.

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2 Comments:

Anonymous Don and Terry Karlin said...

Dear Dr. Hoffman,

We have been tracking your blog since you started it, and think positive thoughts for you.

In fact, POSITIVE THOUGHTS are the subject of this blog response.

Sometimes, if the mind imagines it, reality follows.

So, take the word "hoping" out of your list, and replace it with I AM...then make that a mantra to your daily positive energy.

Not:
I am hoping that my raw organic vegan diet and lifestyle will help reverse that.

Instead:

I KNOW my raw organic vegan diet and lifestyle will help reverse that.

Positive energy is the best you can do right now....the blog will garner it from all of us out here who care for you, and we can see you are keeping your energy and thoughts positive.

Don and Terry Karlin

May 16, 2009 at 10:16 AM  
Blogger Judy Cleri said...

Dear Dr.K,

I am hoping and praying for all you mentioned......BUT....most of all for a complete and total cure for all cancer. Don't think that is too much to ask, do you?

My poor Ducks...........I thought for sure they would beat Detroit....not to be this year I guess. So, now we have to wait until Sept. to have games to go to. Not sure how we will fill all that time, but I'm sure we can come up with something exciting to do. Maybe next year will be your year with the Kings......LOL....oh did I say that.........

Have a blessed weekend and be well.

J

May 16, 2009 at 3:41 PM  

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