Settling In with Hope

Not much happening with my CLL these days. Not quite : All quiet in the Cancer front, but close. No thrice weekly doctors' visits with exciting lab results. So I review the old news, careful not to ruminate too much.

I got an email this week from a dear friend, a radiologist in Paris in response to some final questions on my CT scans.

What I got was a clear confirmation that my mesenteric lymph nodes grew between Sept. and Feb. at a significant clip.

I am living with that.

I am hoping that my raw organic vegan diet and lifestyle will help reverse that.

I am hoping my next treatment will be equally effective in preparing me for a second transplant.

I am hoping I will be well enough to do a second transplant.

I am hoping my donor will still be willing and available.

I am hoping that my insurance or whatever rushed through Federal insurance reforms doesn't ration expensive care like a transplant. I really worry about this one. It is with great sadness that I must say that it would be no exaggeration that I would probably be DEAD if I live in Canada. The medication that saved my life is not covered by most government insurance.

I am hoping next time I get ATG or whatever it takes not so I don't reject the graft a second time. This one still burns me, but I must look forward, not back.

I am hoping it works without too much GVHD.

What I am really hoping for is that I never need to do any of this.

What I am really really hoping for is that we find a cure. And very soon.