Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Calm between the Storms

Newport Pier on a calm day

The torrents of rain today made me question any action that meant leaving the house today.

Never forgot to be thankful for a dry place to sleep.

And then it was gone. Ignoring all warnings we drove to the beach where waves were sending their spray over the top of the Newport Pier. That's a big wave.

A chaotic churning of at least three storm systems had waves thrashing at the pilings from several directions, never pausing to rest, but collapsing on themselves or building in unpredictable peaks of froth.

And a walk to the wedge where there was a new and sudden 6 foot drop off from the flat sand to the tumultuous waters below, taking concave bites out of the beach, threatening the solidity of my path . Where the solid land begins is always the questions, especially at the shoreline.

It seems too easy to use the calm between storms to paint a metaphor for my pregnant pauses by which I choose to ignore my CLL and ITP for the 2 weeks between each and every treatment of IVIG. Both my path on shifted sands and my future are most uncertain. And I must get close to the edge to move on..

I will go no further into that mist.

I spent a few hours with a visiting young CLLer trying to help him clarify his tough decisions.

I reviewed a few articles.

That feels good. Helping another, feeding my head. Thinking about it, making decisions is a whole other matter. Best ignored.

CLL will be oppressive enough, soon enough. I will not invite it into my consciousness.



Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home