Sunday, May 6, 2012

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger: NOT


It has often been said what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

THAT IS SO NOT TRUE!

When you are fighting for your life, be it cancer or heart disease or major surgery or any of a myriad of chronic grinding illness, the flare-ups and complications and relapses and the aggressive therapies needed to steady the ship usually leave you weaker, more tired, more stressed, more vulnerable and often more disabled and depressed.

Sure it was good to have survived measles as a kid (proud to part of the last generation who got the disease and not the shot), or learnt from a failure in college or a lost job or love in your 20s, but most stuff that hits those of us over forty years old, leaves us wounded and weakened. Our immunity or our bone marrow or our psyche all can take a hit, becoming less resilient.

It can wear us down, beat us up. We can rise again, but like the boxer who beats the count, we might be wobbly and need to be extra cautious to avoid a career ending injury.

I don't say this to depress or discourage, but rather to urge us to act wisely and to do what we can to avoid damaging choices. Make choice with our eyes wide open. Risks and adverse events are not always just part of the package insert for the drug or the over protective counsel from an elder or an expert . They are real life occurrence that happen with cold statistical certainty. 

We need to do what we can to improve our odds and avoid the slings and arrows or outrageous fortune. Stay out of the line of fire if we can.

Sometime it is not possible and as is the rightful order, the rampant disease is worse than the treatment. Still the treatment, while preferable and the wiser course to the morbid state it treats, can be pretty noxious. 

We do what we must do. I just don't buy the belief that we are all supposed to thankful somehow for the "experience" we have gained from all these punches to the gut.

This rant just came over me in a rush- a sudden insight that I wanted to share.

Tomorrow I start ibrutinib-PCI-32765- the raison d'être for my moving to Ohio over 8 weeks ago.

I can't wait. Partially because it is so effective and partially because it is so non-toxic. 

Such a perfectly lovely combination.

I am so lucky and grateful to be here.

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5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"thankful...for the experience."? Never was, hated it, (and I was right to), got used to it after about 40-50 years, still struggle, sometimes a lot - much older now, it's all okay, like my life mostly. What it all has done for me is teach, teach, teach, and you can listen and hear other people, not saying much about yourself at all. Life is a big, gigantic circle! Thinking of you and your family, Brian. Alison.

May 6, 2012 at 11:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good luck tomorrow Brian - at last. I can understand your excitement...here's hoping PCI-32765 makes you stronger and less lumpy! Best wishes, Deborah

May 7, 2012 at 1:06 AM  
Blogger Karen O said...

Then you, like King David in the Psalms, have found your way to gratitude at the end of your rant. Astute observations as usual. You put into words so eloquently what many of us feel but don't say. Prayers and thankfulness and hope for this treatment going up on your behalf. Keep fighting the fight.

May 7, 2012 at 5:45 AM  
Anonymous jcleri said...

Get your strength from your beloved KINGS............they are not giving up and you can't either. The Kings looked great in yesterdays game.....on to the conference finals and then the cup...............

Let's Go Kings.....(do you know how hard that is for me to say)

Judy

May 7, 2012 at 9:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thinking of you Brian........as you start yet, ANOTHER, journey in your life.

May 8, 2012 at 2:51 PM  

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