"And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain, Don't carry the world upon your shoulders." The Beatles

I say high, you say low 

You say why, and I say I don't know 

Oh, no 

You say goodbye and I say hello 

Hello, hello 

I don't know why you say goodbye 

I say hello 

The Beatles

It is not normal or healthy for me or most of us to be constantly up and energized and cheery. It is OK for me or anyone to slow down and even stop and rest and collect our thoughts before heading on.

While I do not believe for a moment in the nobility of suffering, I happily wrestle with the darker sides of life. I am your foul weather friend. I have drunk from the deep well of depression and I have slaked my thirst. I have no intention to revisit those mirky waters, but it is not my antidote to be chipper all the time.

I am that not chipper. What I am is grimly determined to succeed. I am paranoid, looking around every corner for what dangers might lurk, so I can be prepared. I believe in the Colin Powell doctrine of overwhelming force. Which means anticipating the ugly challenges I might face and being prepared for the worst. I am positive that I will be tested and that I will prevail. This is not whistling in the dark, it is carrying a flashlight, or staying in a safe house until the storm blows over.

So if I appear down and out for a time, do not despair. I am not despairing. I am really OK. I will let you know if I am not. Promise.

Everybody seems to think I'm lazy 

I don't mind, I think they're crazy 

Running everywhere at such a speed 

Till they find there's no need (there's no need) 

Please, don't spoil my day, I'm miles away 

And after all I'm only sleeping 

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