A sadness too sad to be true

The obituary I wrote for my dad after the longest day in my life.

KOFFMAN, Sydney

November 30, 1926 –June 21, 2011

Passed away peacefully at age 84 at Peace Arch Hospital, B.C.. Syd is survived by his loving wife, Phyllis Olson; his son, Dr. Brian Koffman and wife, Patty; his four grandchildren, the very pregnant Rachael (Nick Sowers), Heather, Ben, and Will; and his dear sister Sonya Fox and her children, Brandon (Carmen) and Lloyd. He will be deeply missed by his in-laws and cousins, nieces and nephews. His parents, Ben and Lena, and wives, Ruth and Georgina, predecease him.

Born in Toronto, Syd worked at Famous Players where he met Ruth, the first love of his life and mother of Brian. Soon he began his life long career with Pepsi, first supervising truck routes, advancing until he retired as VP. He was proud of his charity work with Variety Club and Tim Hortons Children’s Foundation (a lodge is named in his honor). “Mr. Pepsi” went on to run a successful B&B with Georgie in Whistler before retiring a second time to Langley and then to White Rock where he and Phyllis have enjoyed their association with the Rotarians.

He was a doting husband, a strong father, a generous brother, an engaging Zadie, a charming uncle, and a funny and fun loving companion: someone you would want on a desert island or in his case, a cruise stop. Syd was a mench who loved well, and was loved.

Compared to death, even cancer seems trivial. I will write more when I can.

Slight Progression

My MRI today produced fine crisp images that showed my nodes have grown slowly since the last CT in September and now the largest in the mesentery is 6.3 cm in its widest measurement.

What makes it more confusing is that the report from September was revised upward suggesting both that the response to the rituximab after the June CT was very much less than I had thought it was last fall, but on the other hand, the growth since has been quite slow.

But the growth may not have been linear, but rather a U curve with a early drop, and a recent growth spurt in node size.

Remember please that I had more rituximab since the last CT that likely shrunk the nodes (this was never documented and so is just my speculation) that are now rebounding. I will never know for sure, but it makes sense.

More later. Too tired to write tonight.

MRI tomorrow

What used to take a scalpel, then an x-ray, can now be done with a magnet.

Secret happenings in the deep source of growth of CLL, its proliferative centers, the lymph nodes in my gut and pelvis, not reachable by the longest fingers of the most expert palpating oncologist, will be revealed tomorrow.

Have they grown? How much? What does it all mean?

I am nervous. But I am ready.