OMG -A Plea

I'm no poet. I don't say that out of false humility, but because I am blessed to know a few poets, and I know how long and hard they work to whittle their craft. I carve my words with a chain-saw.

Worse than that, I don't believe (well 80% of me doesn't believe) in a personal G-d that intervenes in the affairs of men. A G-d that answers our prayers. Seems too capricious, too wanton, too damn unfair. My theology is more random. More Tom Robbins, than Moses Maimonides.

But I couldn't sleep last night, and it was not a sore toe robbing me of sweet nature's balm.

It was the drive to push out these words, personally and publicly. Make the commitment. Be clear on my intentions. Maybe it was hearing the Sabbath Prayer from Fiddler at services on Friday night - I was always a sucker for sentimentality.

Maybe Kubler-Ross would say I was in the bargaining stage of grief, and she wouldn't be wrong.

But it is more than that. It is a sense that I should look everywhere for the answers, line up all the energies to move forward. Push in all directions. Maybe it's my 20% that does believe - the 80-20 principle doing its magic.

I will keep going.

OMG- A Plea

The road to sleep was blocked last night by a hard glimpse of what you said:

You said you love to give, and ask only that I give it all back.

I’m in. Are you?

You said you’d be loud and heard over the clutter if I loved you, but your silence is keeping me up at nights.

Maybe your screams will lull me back to sleep.

You didn’t break me. That took different work than you do. But you can cure me with your shock or tender therapy. I’m game for either.

I know that I am asking you to break the rules. No one will know. They never do.

And besides, you’ve done it before.

Remember the Sea of Reeds?

I’m no Moses, but I am asking to be healed- for your sake, for your name’s sake, for my family and friends and the others’ sake. For my sake

For G-d sake

My time is limited. Now would be good.